Let me preface this with I have no skills in negotiation...so all of this is completely observational. I'm just too blunt. If I want something and think its worthwhile to ask, I do. If the other person says no, I'm sure they had a reason. If they say yes, we're both happy. My husband on the other hand is the best saleman you'll ever meet. He really can sell to anyone. He believes there is compromise in all situations and everyone can always be happy. There we have one of his finest qualities. Good thing, because one of my biggest shortcomings is the exact opposite. I look at a situation, think it is hopeless, give up and make everyone around me miserable for the day. So yesterday as we were getting ready for church he takes charge of the girls. Since it is really his one day to do this he loves to get them ready...he even does their hair. I usually go in and help get them dressed. I set out some clothes and then go back to finish myself. Eliza walks in and says she doesn't want to wear the dress I picked out and goes to the closet to find a "pretty" one. I say, this one is pretty and you wore that one last week. Let's wear this one. She continues on the "but its not pretty" and I leave the room. Whatever, its just a dress and I really don't care which she wears as long as we go, right? Some things are just not worth the effort of the argument. Scott on the other hand starts like this... "Eliza, this is a pretty dress. Where did you get it from? Don't you think she would like it if you wore it? You wore the other last week and this is really pretty too. Look you can match Jenna. Next time we'll let you choose." She comes out 5 minutes later in the dress I chose, no tears nothing. I really don't know what Scott says to convince her of things like this. Honestly if it was me she would have been crying because I have no skills in this area!
Eliza is learning these skills from her dad. Today she has a bit of a cold. She asked to go outside and play with the normal two buckets of water and her ice. I said no, thinking its not the best for a cold. She continues to try to convince me, "but it will make me feel better, how about one bucket of water, I'll stay really dry, I won't get cold..." I hope she continues down that path instead of mine. Just for the record I didn't give in and she found something else to do. I wish I was better at this little point in my life. I just don't put in the time or effort to diffuse a situation. If Scott was handling the whole water and ice situation he would have come up with something magical for her to do instead and she would have been happy as well.
2 comments:
I have seen your negotiation skills. I don't remember what it was about, but it was at Pat's house and I was quite impressed, I almost took notes! I'm sure now you're just too tired or drained to think about negotiating with anyone. Just remember there's a light at the end of all this.
U know.. in some situations you can negotiate and others not so much... (think morality) so she's gonna have great skills in both areas! What an awesome Mom you are to teach her both :-)
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